Six Hard Truths and a Lie

We are responsible for our children, but are we responsible for who they are? Of who they become? For the choices they make? For how they feel about themselves or the world?

There isn't one answer here, I'm almost certain of it. 

Here are some things about kids that appear to be true: 

1. Kids are going to struggle
2. Kids are going to say things that hurt your feelings
3. Kids won't always be happy

Here are some things about parents that appear to be true:

1. Parents struggle
2. Parents say things that hurt their kids' feelings
3. Parents can't always be happy

And here is the lie we tell ourselves: 

When my children or I struggle, when we say things that hurt each other, or when we're not happy, there is something very wrong and it is my fault. 

There is undoubtedly dissonance here. 

As parents, we never want to feel as though these six truths don't bother us, so how do we cope? How do we find the balance of acceptance without complacency?